The Second Law (and the others!)

There are 3 basic laws that govern our life. At least I've found them useful.

The first of these is "Do not travel faster than light". This one was invented by Einstein sometime last century. `Scientists are quite agreed on the reason behind this. Now whilst most people's eyes tend to glaze over at the thought of theoretical quantum physics it really is quite simple. If you do then you'll end up travelling back in time and killing your grandfather in a 'crime de passion' and marrying your grandmother. Things just won't work out because you remind her too much of a younger version of her dead husband and she has trouble living with the memory. Eventually this causes a breakdown a in the space-time continuum and you'll suddenly vanish in a puff of non-existence. Probably not the best way for anyone to start their day. And not to forget the weight gain associated with high speed travel, I mean just look at any regular business traveller. All that jetting around and they inevitably pile on a few pounds. Remember they're only travelling at half the speed of sound, just extrapolate that a little and you'll see that old Albert was on to something.

Which brings us to the Second Law. Sir Isaac Newton proposed the Second Law in 1687 and published it in Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica. In brief it states:

"The change in velocity (acceleration) with which an object moves is directly proportional to the magnitude of the force applied to the object and inversely proportional to the mass of the object."

In other words an object will keep moving unless something happens to it. So what does this mean to me? Well, when cycling I try to expend as little energy as possible, whilst getting from A to B (or more usually from A back to A via a series of indeterminate points) as quickly as possible. Now, cyclists face a range of opposing forces: friction from the road and the bike itself, wind, hills and having to slow for corners! There's very little that can be done about the first three at least once the ride has started but I'm working on the last one.

The normal technique for riding a bike (or most other vehicles) is to go fast into the corner, hit the brakes late and accelerate out of the turn. All fine in theory but my bike is set up as a single speed - exactly why that is is a whole other topic - which means I lack the ability to accelerate by shifting up through the gears so I need to find another solution. Since I can't accelerate so easily I need to take as much speed out of the corner as I can which means going in faster, or trying not to hit the brakes. In other words, "Conservation of Momentum", or attaining the mythical "flow".

The theory is quite simple, commit to the turn, look where you want to go, get your weight in the right place and it will all work out fine. The practice is a little more complex: for a start the surface is muddy, rooted and rutted, I go into the turn thinking all the right things, have the OMG moment "I'm going way too fast for this!", hit the brakes and the wheels lock up. This is where an unintended consequence of the Second Law cuts in...

With the wheels locked there's now nothing keeping me and the bike in that perfect arc, matching the curve of the trail. Instead I'm obeying 300 years of traditional physics and continuing at a high speed in a straight line (it works for and against you that Second Law), sideways and directly for a bunch of trees. Now is probably not the best time to remember the advice that I was given about skiing off-piste in the woods: "Don't think of it as skiing in the trees, think of it as skiing in the gaps". That inner voice sure knows when to pick it's moments. No, the only thing to do is relax, slide and hope that nothing soft and delicate comes into contact with anything hard or pointy.

Which, despite the fact that the only New Year's resolution I've managed to keep is "Don't make resolutions" brings me to, let's call it an objective rather than a resolution, for 2012. To improve my technique on the bike this year.

And the Third Law? Well that's actually borrowed from skiing.

"Don't eat the yellow snow"

Cabin Fever

Going mildly (and expensively) stir crazy here!

Had a minor operation on Saturday. My wife says to clarify that it was a hernia repair rather than a vasectomy as "everybody" knows that with "men of my age" it's either one or the other.

Anyway, no real drama, like clearing the shed or doing the filing it was just something I'd been putting off until, last Thursday I called the surgeon who said he could do it on Saturday. So I'm housebound, and as I'm most comfortable lying down bedbound. So far I've avoided the siren call of daytime TV and spend my days listening to music, browsing the internet and practising Sonic the Hedgehog in a vain attempt to avoid humiliation by my son when he next challenges me to a race.

As I can't ride my bike I'm doing the next best thing and reading about biking and other people's bikes (all in the name of 'research' planning my rides for this year). Unfortunately this leads to a condition known as 'gear envy'.

 Now as any reputable medical professional worth their salt will tell you cabin fever and gear envy is a pretty potent combination and not one for the weak of will. Which brings us to the expensive part.  In my delirious state I have somehow managed to acquire a brand shiny new freewheel, and since it won't fit my existing hub, an equally shiny hub for it to fit it on.

 Must go as the men in the white coats are coming to take my wallet away.